Being Single is not a curse, it is a gift from God. I believe there are people who are gifted to live a single life, without being married for the rest of their live, and there are people who are only single for a season until they find a compatible partner. A person who is gifted as a single person would not desire the things of marriage, but a person who is single for a season will desire the things of marriage.

So if you are gifted to be single, do not let anybody force you to marry, you can still live a fulfilled life as a single person; but  if you are single for a season, be careful who you choose as a partner, because your relationship will either make or break you, it wont leave you the same.

Below are excepts from my book – Love and Relationship, which can guide you in making the right choice of a partner.     

LOVE AND COMPATIBILITY

A love lasting relationship is based on compatibility.
Compatibility can be seen as what you have in common with
another person and what does not bother you about a person’s life,
which is what you can agree with. Before you can discover the right
person who is compatible with you, you must first discover yourself
and what pleases you. I believe being single while relating with other
people just as friends, can give you room to discover your likes and
dislikes, which can help you know yourself and know who can fit in
your life. Being single and content at a certain season of your life is
not a crime, it can help you know and understand who you are and
what you desire in life, before you begin a relationship.

It is important to proof compatibility with your partner in some areas of
your life, so you can be assured of your relationship because true
compatibility is the beginning of a lasting relationship. You cannot
discover love unless you find the right person who is compatible with
you. Anybody who does not believe in love has never found the
right person who is compatible with him or her because love is real.

LOVE WITHOUT COMPATIBLE IS LIKE HAVING A BEAUTIFUL SHOE YOU LOVE, BUT IT IS NOT YOUR SIZE. 

There are FOUR main areas of compatibility that should be in place
for true love to be established.

SPIRITUAL COMPATIBILITY
This is the first area of compatibility that can enable love to
prosper in a relationship. Spirituality is a very important part of a
person’s life because man is a Spirit being and everyone has certain
spiritual beliefs about life, which affects their way of living. If your
partner is not in agreement with your spiritual beliefs, it can have a
negative effect on your relationship. This is why light and darkness
cannot be together.

A person who believes in Jesus as his or her
Savior and Lord can hardly build a good relationship with a person
who does not believe in Jesus as Savior and Lord because every
spiritual belief has principles that must be followed or adhered to,
which will conflict with the other person’s unbelief. Our spiritual
belief affects our character, work, and lifestyle. You must be
comfortable with a person’s spiritual beliefs if love must prosper
effectively.

CHARACTER COMPATIBILITY
This is an important area of compatibility for a successful
relationship. For love to prosper there must be a character
compatibility between the two people in a relationship because love
is based on interactions between the characters of two people, which
reflect on how they treat each other. This means that the person you
can love is the person who interacts properly with you. Every
interaction flows through the mindset and character of a person, so
for you to have a proper interaction with someone that can stir up
love, the person must have the right mindset and character that can
please you.

Character is known by actions, which are the fruits of a person’s
life. The word of God says that we will know a person by his or her
fruits. So you will know who loves you and who you can love through
the character of the person because the character is that which will
satisfy you forever, other good things about a person are subject to
change, but the character will hardly change because it has been
formed over many years. People can only pretend, but they cannot
change their character easily, only God can change a person’s
character by His Spirit.
As long as you focus on knowing a person through his or her
mindset and character, you will know the right character that can
love you, the way you desire to be loved.

LIFESTYLE COMPATIBILITY
This is to know and understand if the lifestyle of a person is
compatible with yours. The mindset of a person is reflected in the
character of a person, and character determines the lifestyle of a
person. So lifestyle determines a person’s value and attitude towards
life. It is made up of a person’s mindset towards the issues of life.
This is known by the way a person responds to situations and things.
In order to sustain love, you must be comfortable with the way your
partner responds to issues and situations. If you have a partner who
believes in physical abuse when you do something wrong, except you
are comfortable with that, love will not prosper in your relationship.

I have met a man who believes there is nothing wrong in beating up a
woman when she does something wrong or when she is stubborn, he
believes it is a way to correct her, that is his mindset, which many
women cannot accept because it is not the right thing to do. A
woman is an adult with understanding, who requires respect and
communication in a relationship.

VISION COMPATIBILITY
The fourth area of compatibility for a successful relationship is to
be in agreement with the vision a person possesses for his or her
future. You must be able to know and agree to what a person
strongly desires to become in the future, in order to give your best
love and support to the person. It has to do with knowing what a
person is doing at present and accepting a person’s career and future
plans because we are here on earth to work and fulfill the purpose of
our lives. Work is a very important part of a person’s life, if you do
not accept a person’s career, love cannot prosper.

                       There is a story of a lady who liked modeling and she was passionate about it, but her
lover was not comfortable with it, so he kept monitoring her
wherever she went for work and could not trust her, so their
relationship was broken up due to lack of compatibility regarding her
work and vision. For love to prosper, the people in love must be
comfortable with each other’s work and dreams, so they can build
trust and grow in love together……..

                                           …Read more from the book – LOVE & RELATIONSHIP   

Love is a connection that happens through compatibility and it is developed by good mutual understanding. Love is something you build and develop as you get to know your partner better. Love in marriage is meant to grow with time as a couple do things together in unity.

FOUR MINDSETS OF MARRIAGE

HOTEL MINDSET

The first kind of mindset are people who enter into marriage as if
they are checking into a hotel, where everything must be in place and
set for them and if there are things, that are not in place according to
their expectation, they check out to another hotel, which they think
might be better.

This first group does not stay long in marriage; they
break up as soon as they start living together and finding faults with
one another. They easily blame their spouses for wrongdoings, and
they do not have the patience to work things out. This is not the
right mindset for marriage, because you are responsible for working
out your marriage.

TENANT MINDSET

The second kind of mindset are people who enter into marriage as
if they are renting a property from a landlord, whose responsibility is
to put everything in place for them, while they only have to do very
little upkeep in the property at their convenience. They don’t have a
sense of ownership or responsibility in the property they live, and if
things don’t go according to their plans, they move to another
property.

The second group stays in marriage a bit longer than the first
group, but they have no sense of ownership and responsibility in
their marriage, they blame God for their problems and for the faults
of their partners and they break up sooner or later when they are
tired of living together.

INVESTORS MINDSET

The third kind of mindset, are people who enter into marriage as
if they are investing in a property to sell in the future. This group of
people can be likened to those who buy a property as theirs, but with
a mindset to sell in the future, when the need arises or when things
get tough. They don’t plan to live there all their lifetime. So with this
mindset, they try to take care of the house fixing only the problems
that can be seen by the public, and ignoring the major defects that
cannot be seen by others, hoping that if things get worse, they will
move to another house and sell their house one day to an ignorant
buyer.

This third group stays in marriage for a good period without
being happy and, they tend to break up in the future. Some of them
stay in the marriage, because they have a stake in the marriage, like
children, which they value or for some kind of benefit they receive,
which they hold onto. But as soon as those benefits are no longer
present or things change for the worst, they are up and going. This
group puts their blames on the situations and circumstances that
affect their relationship, without taking the time to get the
knowledge and understanding of how to work things out.

OWNERS MINDSET

The fourth kind of mindset are people who enter into marriage as
if they have found the best piece of land to develop and build a home
for themselves and their generations to come. They are like people
who buy or secure a property in one of the best places in town and
they plan to build a lasting paradise for themselves and their family.
They invest their effort in solving both the small and major defects in
their property. They watch over it to clean it up, not only for others
to see but for them to enjoy it as a beautiful garden, where they look
forward to returning after each day’s labor.

This fourth group makes plans to stay in the marriage for their
lifetime; they work together and remove every character or lifestyle
that might destroy their marriage. They listen and communicate in
love as people who see the best in each other and enjoy each
other’s company. They are always looking for ways to help make
each other’s life better, not to blame or destroy each other. They
make an effort to please each other in all they do. This is the best
group in marriage, they will enjoy their marriage for as long as they
live and will influence their children to do the same.

BE PART OF THE FOURTH GROUP.